Crossroads, Risk, and the Pursuit of Happiness

About a month ago in the Student Affairs seminar (a meeting every other week or so for grads in the Student Affairs cohort to reflect on our experiences), we were discussing the job search process and the next steps after graduation. Time and time again, I hear the stress in people's voices, feeling the need to find something. I hear it from my peers, from the graduating seniors, from people everywhere everyday, and I've definitely heard it from me. There is this rush and need to find something. I ask, does something mean anything?


I surprised myself with how calm I've been throughout this whole job search process. I intentionally grounded myself in my values and making sure that the avenues I was pursuing aligned with my core. In knowing what is most important to me, I felt scared and safe all at the same time. Scared that being specific would limit my options but safe knowing that I would eventually find not something but the one thing I was looking for.


Directly after class, I went to sit in the cafe and "Crossroads" (Bone Thugs N Harmony) was playing on the radio. I thought it was significant - crossroads. My entire life I've set myself on clear paths, setting goals, achieving them, and going on to the next great feat. The problem with being an overachiever is that before I knew it, I was not sure if I was pursuing a goal based on my passions or based on the fact that it was the logical next step. Over the last year, I noticed an unhappiness and could not quite put my finger on it until I realized I had not thought about my true desires in a long time. Life happens and it moves fast - it's easy to just keep moving. BUT, I wondered, what if I was headed in the wrong direction?


Fortunately for me, this unhappiness brought some clarity. What was missing? What did I need in my next chapter of life that was going to bring me true happiness? I needed love, support, challenge, and an environment that was set on creating a better world with more socially aware leaders. I happened to be reading Manning and Stroud's A Practical Guide to Ethics: Living and Leading with Integrity (2008). Specifically, I was reading about the link between happiness and work, and how one's work needs meaning to be happy (I know - reading this while listening to a song entitled "Crossroads" - quite the coincidence, no?). When I set out on my job search, I paid close attention to university mission and vision statements. How did the institution function? What direction was it headed? Were employees and students valued and did they have a voice? Finding the right fit for me was most important throughout my job search. Now, I understand financial need and needing a source of income (with my loans, I definitely understand). BUT, financial security does not mean happiness. Happiness though can often mean risk.


I began thinking about the human innate reaction to avoid risk, to avoid danger. I've always considered myself to be free-spirited. I stand on edges of cliffs and I jump out of planes (much to my partner's dismay - he's Mr. Safety). But, I had not been taking risks the last few years. After my mom passed, I took the path of most security, found myself a job and entered a great graduate program. While everything worked out, it was not intentional and it was not in full consideration of what my heart desired. IT WAS TIME TO RISK AGAIN.
Each day, I remind myself, do what makes me happy and do something that has meaning. With those two guiding reminders, I cannot go wrong.


I share this with friends, students, and anyone really - find what makes you happy and pursue it! Now is better than later, as later often turns into never. And now is definitely far better than never!






And in case you want more credible sources of advice...
Great achievements require great risk. -Dalai Lama
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. -Helen Keller
What kind of man would live where there is no daring? I don't believe in taking foolish chances, but nothing can be accomplished without taking any chance at all. -Charles Lindbergh
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined. -Henry David Thoreau